Now the Lord said to Abram, “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.[1]
Faith is an act and an attitude that embraces the whole person: his deep trust, his fidelity, his intellectual assent and his emotional adherence. Faith also incorporates person’s life and his decisions. God calls each one of us to faith, to surrender, to give us a mission that requires a lifetime of discernment. The place is not incidental, but belong to God's plan. The stump that begins to grow, God can transplant it in another place so that it can flourish. That is the adventure of the vocation!
And you, how did Jesus win your heart?
-Well... one day he left the 99 sheep just for me!
On April 16, 1973 in Mexico, under the sign of Pablo Neruda’s death, the Vietnam War and the oil crisis, I came into this world, being the youngest of three brothers. I was born to love God, but in the world, I preferred to live in fear and hopelessness. That is, to as the center of the universe. My vocational history is a long walk back to trust in God.
My priestly vocation was born in an expected circumstance. The first time that God touched my life was when I was just born. For sure, I don’t have that memory, but this a story that it was told by my grandmother: My mother died when I was a baby, and God received her and gave her new and eternal life. So, I was raised by my grandmother. Years passed and one day I asked her,
-"Where is my mother?"
-She responded, "In heaven."
Then I asked her, "What do I need to do to go to heaven?"
-"Be good!" She answered
And thus, I continued growing, trying to be a good boy so one day I could be with my mother in heaven.
My dad got married again when I was about 5 years old. My “step-mother,” being a religious woman, once asked me,
-"When you grow up, would you like to be a Padrecito?"
-"Sure," I answered, "but to my children."
I viewed priests as something very great and unattainable; I never asked myself if I could be one of them.
Then in high school I fell in love. My girlfriend was very active in the church. And she was willing to share her joy for the Lord, so, she started inviting me to go to church little by little. At that point my grandmother had passed away and I had resented her departure against God, so I stopped coming to Mass.
During Lent, my girlfriend convinced me to go to confession, then we prayed the Rosary and we did penance... and just like that, my interest in God returned to my life, because I experienced freedom through the sacraments and of acts of piety.
I felt like I was born again, like I was living a new life; my life began to change. I was spending more time in church, but I wanted something more. At that time, the Mass was not enough for me. I wanted to know more about God. I wanted to take part in a retreat, because the joy that I was experiencing was so close as my brother’s joy when he went into a retreat.
I thought that all retreats were the same. So, one day when I was leaving Mass, I saw a poster announcing a retreat for men. I was excited and I signed up for it. I immediately told the news to my girlfriend. She got excited but she didn’t know what kind of retreat I was getting into. But none of my relatives could believe that I was going to a retreat for one week. The only one who trusted on my decision was the one who asked me, years earlier if I wanted became a priest one day: my step-mother.
When I arrived at the seminary, where the retreat was to be held, they asked me:
-"Do you want to be a priest?"
I was in shock with that question. Nervously I told them, that that was not my intention, I just wanted to get to know more about God.
They told me that that retreat was a vocational one, it means that it is exclusively for those who were discerning their priestly vocation. In my heart I was made my mind to be in that retreat, so I lied:
-Well, yes, I am interested to become a priest!
In general, the retreat was very beautiful; I met enthusiastic priests who shared their personal vocation history, the love of God and its necessity to announce it to the suffering world and, the possibility of beginning a new style of life. But, what really touched my soul and it is engraved in it, was what a priest said to us, "It is not a coincidence that each one of you has attended this retreat. You have been called by God". Then he read the book of the prophet Jeremiah:
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”[2]
I was so fascinated! I could not believe that God was calling me! Now, I knew, God was expecting my answer.
On Wednesday, during my retreat, they made groups of candidates and we were sent out of the seminary building to ask different groups (priests, doctors, policemen, etc.) what were their thoughts of God were. My group was sent to the "children of the street." For me it was a very difficult experience. I did not know that those children existed, because I lived in a country side not in the city. When we asked them what they thought of God, they answered to us,
-"God is who watches over us every day and, who protect us from bad people."
I remember that day spending all my money on them, spoiling them with food. During that day we washed cars and played with them. When the day ended they, even, gave us money to go back to the seminary. Now I was facing the real God, the Incarnate One, in the streets, and… He was expecting my answer.
That night, when I was going to bed, I felt an immense desire to be in God’s presence, and then I went to the chapel. There was an immense joy in my heart, but also, it was accompanied by some kind of fear. I knew that God was calling me to be his servant! And there He was, waited patiently for my answer in the chapel. So, now, we were there alone… face to face. I said to Him:
-"I know you are here waiting for me and I know what you are asking of me, but, I don’t know what to say, I don’t know how to give you my answer."
Then the words of Mary came to my mind. "Here am I, the servant of the Lord; let it be with me according to your word.”[3] And when I pronounced those words, I felt that my heart was going to explode. Suddenly I realized what I just have said to God and I began to cry. I prostrated myself and I felt God’s presence very affirming and strength me from inside out. Little by little my heart returned to its peace and quite joy. This happened the night of August 5th of 1992 in Toluca, State of Mexico. And after 14 year, on June 17, 2006, the Lord was fulfilling his calling in Baker City, Oregon. “Go from your country and your kindred and your father’s house to the land that I will show you.” (Gn 12, 1)
If I were born again, I would be a priest again...